RECENT PROJECT

When I was single, one of my favorite things to try baking was cheesecakes.  I used to travel around a lot, and thus ate out quite a bit at different restaurants.  One of the desserts that almost every restaurant has is some variation of cheesecake, and I thought, why not try do this at home?

In the long run, I haven’t made a lot of cheesecakes (let’s say 20 or so), but I did end up finding one from the Kraft food magazine that was really good.  I couldn’t find the exact recipe on their site, but if you use this one and replace the mixture of 1/4 cup sugar and blackberries with two cups of strawberries, it’s the same recipe.

THE BAKE, AND THE RESULTS

I hadn’t made the recipe for probably six or so years, which is a side effect on our one kiddo’s then-allergy to dairy.  How did it turn out after all that time?  I did remember that the recipe seems a bit sparse with the crust, so I bumped up the graham crackers to 1 3/4 cups and the butter to 5 tablespoons.  OK so far . . .

Then on to the batter.  There’s something about when the sour cream and eggs get added, and it gets all glossy, that it just starts looking awesome.  OK at this step too.

Then finally, to let it bake, put the nice little topping mixture across the top, bake a little more, and this is what comes out.

It’s not perfect by any means (nor is my photography at this point, for that matter), but taste is the ultimate judge.  I let the wife try a bite first and she was really happy with it.  So happy that she took another chunk out of the piece we were sharing, at which point I moved the plate so I could eat some.  Love only goes so far, after all 🙂  I liked the taste, so I let the oldest try it (he enjoyed it) and the wife gave the youngest a bite.  At 1 year old, our youngest ate his piece and walked over to the table, waving his little plastic spoon at the cake to try and reach far enough to get some more.  With those kinds of reactions, I’m calling this bake a winner.

TOPIC FOR TODAY

I talked in this earlier post about getting a Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) back when I was a kid.  I loved playing that thing–you got Super Mario Bros. and Duck Hunt, along with the light zapper, in the package.  Back then (believe it or not, kids) you could also go to Blockbuster and rent other video games so you wouldn’t have to buy them.  Between renting, games I’d received as gifts, and a few I bought myself, I was in video game heaven.

It wasn’t just the NES that I’d play, either.  The mall near my parents’ house in Ohio had its own arcade, and I spent time there playing The Simpsons, X-Men, and even Rampage.  The big screens, flashing lights, slamming a joystick and pounding buttons–ah, good times.

MOVING ON UP (TO NEW VIDEO GAMES, THAT IS)

As the NES began to fade into console history, I got a Sega Genesis (with Sega CD!) and played that.  Just like with the NES, I played lots of different games and spent many, many hours on it.  I had that console in high school and then into college.  College is when I really learned that, regardless of age, there are a lot of guys who like to play video games.  Along with studying, movies, and going out to eat, it’s part of the culture with a lot of people.  You don’t have parents watching over your shoulder for how much time you spend doing it, and there are other people around who you can play with (and, ideally, crush).

THEN LIFE CHANGED, AND PLAYING VIDEO GAMES WITH IT

There’s this interesting change once you leave college, though:  You don’t have as many people around on a regular basis to play video games with.  So, while I bought a GameCube off one of my college friends, I didn’t play at nearly the frequency I did earlier.  The friends I had from work weren’t really interested in video games as much.  Most activities they and I did were geared more towards just hanging out and talking, or going out with other friends who we didn’t also work with.

Getting married changed this dynamic a little bit too; Mary and I liked to play a couple of video games together and, while we had different aptitudes at different games, it was fun.  The frequency we played, though, wasn’t anything like what I’d done when I was younger (and care-free 🙂 ).  We both had jobs, social activities, and learning how to be married instead of single that took up most of our time.

Eventually, we got a Wii together.  Both of us get pretty competitive given the right conditions, and Wii Sports Resort  definitely put us in a competitive, and more frequent gaming, mode.  Over time, though, it was a big ramp up in playing and then a slow down which happened much more quickly for her than for me.

AND THEN THERE WERE THREE . . . AND THEN FOUR . . .

Getting married was a big step.  Having our first kiddo was like taking that, turning it upside down, shaking it like a snow globe, and then being told, “Good luck figuring it out.”  It’s crazy, beautiful, wonderful, exhausting, and intense.  Its impact on video games:  I pretty much dropped them cold turkey.  As you can guess by the rundown of systems listed above, I loved playing video games, but I couldn’t justify spending much time on them with a wife and son to take care of.

Over time, I started playing again.  And when I started playing a little, I wanted to play more.  Some days, I definitely played more than I should have.  When we had our second son, I stopped playing for the second time.  But, again, then I started playing a little more.  Role-playing games are my favorite, and that initial return to the stories, the plotting, and trying not to lose lives or party members led to me spending more time playing video games and committing less time to other activities.

REFLECTIONS AND LETTING GO (FOR A BIT)

The problem is that those other activities sometimes meant the wife, in particular, or the boys.  So I had to do a reality check based on what I’ve seen from other people, and what I felt was morally right for me.

The reality check based on other people was pretty straightforward.  There are quite a few intelligent, professional people I’ve known outside of my current job who would do their day job and then spend hours at night playing online games with their friends.  At my previous job, there was one coworker who talked about staying up with his wife late at night or even into the early morning hours playing video games.  I’m willing to believe there are some people who can make the long hours during the day and long hours at night work, but to be blunt they’re few and far between.  I definitely didn’t fall into the bucket of those who can do it.  For what it’s worth, anyone who thinks they’re pulling this off right now, ask your family and co-workers:  Chances are they’ve noticed the results.

For the moral side, you might think that my having such a blast playing video games previously meant I wouldn’t have any moral conflicts.  But when I stopped and looked at what I was doing, and the increasing hours I was putting into playing, I knew I had to stop.  I do put my wife and boys first and, while I’m by no means perfect at it, I knew I could minimize the impact video games were having.  So I stopped to take a breath, and (very unintentionally) quit cold turkey again.

SEEKING BALANCE

I’m not arrogant enough to leave that as the end of this story, though.  While I may have stopped for now, I do want to keep playing video games (especially as it drives me nuts that I still haven’t finished Dragon Age Origins).  While trying to figure out better how to enjoy gaming but not let it take precedence over other activities, I’ve thought about:

• Just giving it up completely:  Yeah, I don’t like that idea.
• Toss the games out, or at least some of them:  This might be do-able, as I don’t even care about some of the games I have on the shelf waiting to be played.
• Set a timer:  I’ve done this before with a time limit of an hour, but most games are so in-depth now that an hour is nothing.  Maybe an hour and a half a couple nights a week?  Or five hours total a week?  Hm . . .

I’m likely going to end up throwing out a couple games, not buying anymore, and setting a timer for the week overall so that I can still play without it being a vampire on my life.  My wife and boys are too important to me, and the boys are young for too short a time, to let the hours I have with them slip away.

“WELL, THAT’S NOT  HOW IT WORKS WITH MY FAMILY”

To guys who think this is idealistic, and that you can feed your video game addiction (or other addiction) and still be a great husband and father:  Bull.  That lack of love, focus, and interaction with your family does come back in a negative way, and will be paid back tenfold by your kids in particular.  If you don’t think the wife and kids notice when you’d rather be someplace else than with them, you’re kidding yourself.  But when you stop and give your time to them, when they know you choose them over the console or computer, the love you are rewarded with will be worth far more than your hours gaming ever will.