RECENT PROJECT
This week, we are celebrating one family member no longer having a dairy allergy! For those of you who haven’t had to deal with any type of food allergies, this may seem like a shrug and “That’s great.” is about the right response; for those of you who have dealt with food allergies of any type, you know how much of a relief and happy moment this is.
In celebration of this moment, a cheese bread seemed like an appropriate choice of project. I chose Swiss Cheese-Potato Bread, again from Bernard Clayton’s “New Complete Book of Breads”. I didn’t quite know what to expect as I’ve only done a couple cheese breads in the past, and none with potatoes in them (well, instant potato flakes). Turns out that this bread, which you bake in a tube pan, is really not too tough. The only thing that you’ll see is that, in the image below, the cheese on the outside tended to float to one side. Fortunately, on the inside, it is evenly distributed.
This bread cooks up really nicely on the bottom as well, as shown below, and you can even see the little pockets of cheese when you view a slice.
The most important part is how it tastes. All members of the family, including the one formerly with a dairy allergy, really enjoyed it–a crispy outside, a nice soft inside, and tasty pockets of Swiss cheese. With such a positive response from the judges, this is one I plan on making again sometime.
TOPIC FOR TODAY
When I was a kid (a long time ago), like most kids, my Mom would have/let me go over to other kids’ homes to play. There wasn’t much of a condition, or a communication, that I was aware of before I went over; it was just my asking, “Is it OK if I go over to my friend Johnny’s house?” and, if the answer was yes, I was on my way. My Mom knew who my friends were and generally what they were like, so it wasn’t a big deal. It likely made it easier that we lived in a relatively homogeneous community, with a lot of the population being of the same race, roughly the same socioeconomic status, the same religion, and similar perspectives on life.
Now, fast forward to my being married, and having two boys of my own. We live in a location that is quite diverse, with people from all races, social and economic statuses, religions, and perspectives that we’re around both personally and professionally. We’re grateful that we and our boys can experience this diversity, while at the same time knowing it means the kids will encounter many different ways of living and different views when they go over to friends’ houses, just as their friends will experience our perspective on life when they come over to our house. A pastor at one of the churches we used to attend talked about this, and said point blank that there are friends’ houses that he and his wife are OK with their kids going to and friends’ houses that they’re not allowed to spend time at–not because they don’t care about the friends, and not because of a family’s religious beliefs, but because they know which people will care for their kids in a way that aligns with their values, and which ones won’t. This isn’t an approach that’s tied to that pastor’s faith, either, or a church environment in general–it’s just good parenting.
As our boys begin entering the age when they’ll ask and be asked more to go over to friends’ houses to play, we know that one of the best things we can do before saying “Yes” is meeting the friend’s parents, talking to them, and maybe spend time with them when our kiddo first goes over there to see how they handle watching out for their kid and ours. Now, the reverse is also going to be true: The friends of our boys have parents who will also likely want to talk to us before they let their kids come over to play so that they can understand who we are and what we’re like before giving the thumbs up. That physical and verbal interaction is critical to building confidence, but what if we also had something that was like a statement of values for visiting friends? Something that told them, “Hey, this is what we’re like and how we’ll treat you in our house”? These questions are leading the wife and I to building a “What You Can Expect in Our Home” guide.
So what do you put in a “What You Can Expect in Our Home” guide? That’s what we’re working through right now, and why this post is just Part 1. We want something that will be short, easily understood, and hit up major points while leaving lots of room for those conversations between us and other parents to take place. Here’s what this looks like right now:
- Short: The guide can only be 1 page, or 2 if we’re printing it to be read from a few feet away.
- Easily understood: We want people to just be able to look at the guide and go, “Oh, OK, I get what you’re saying here.”
- Hit up major points: We want to hit up only the major points so people don’t get bored before they finish reading through the guide, and so that we can get across the things that are most important to us and our home.
What would be in that major points list for us? I expect it will change between this post and when we get to Part 2, and it will dramatically change as the boys get older, but some of the big points we already know of are (in no particular order):
- Allergies: We’ve been through our share of food allergies (though one less now!), so we’ll be very upfront of what we have in our house and what we can do to keep our home safe for others with food allergies. Similarly, we’ll let people know what pets we have for those with animal allergies as well.
- Food: We’ll explain what our mealtimes are and what’s available outside of those mealtimes (since we’re more than happy to share what we have, but we’re not an all-day cafeteria or a candy machine).
- Toys and games sharing: We’ll talk about how we ensure sharing of toys and games will occur, both for their kid and ours.
- Discipline: And following on to sharing, the ways in which we’ll resolve conflicts. As a preview, there are ways we discipline our own kids that I’d never do to other kids–that is their parents’ job.
- Home boundaries: We’ll share about what areas, and things, the kids will have access to and what they won’t.
- Religion: We’ll share what we believe, but that we don’t talk to kids about it unless they specifically ask.
- When we’ll call: We’ll let the parents know what things we’ll call them for.
- Safety to and from our house: Some may argue that it doesn’t allow kids to demonstrate their freedom, but to me it’s more of a respect thing to let other parents know we’ll walk their kiddo to and from our house to ensure they get home safely.
There are a few of those that might fall off the list, and a couple more we could add, but those really do represent our major points we’d like to communicate to other parents when their kids come over.
Once the wife and I have our guide developed, I’ll share it on here so that you can see what we ended up with. Like I said before, the guide is meant to just hit the major points and allow room for more conversation between families so others can feel comfortable saying to their kid, “Yes, you can go over to their house to play.”
