Motherhood is difficult. It is a journey, and it is best not completed alone.

MOTHERHOOD THE JOURNEY

Being a mom is hard, even on its best days. You try to get the little human to do things like sit nicely (so you can buckle them in a car seat), clean up after them for the umpteen millionth time (hello potty training), and are on call twenty-four hours a day (sick child anyone?). It’s easy to get worn out and discouraged. We birth or foster/adopt these amazing little humans, and journey through this life using every available resource to us, as we endeavor to raise responsible adults. Each day can be a learning day for both the child and the parent involved.  It is exhausting at times. One of the most helpful things I have found in this journey is Mom Friends, or, my Mom Tribe!

MOM TRIBE

Ok, I know you have probably heard this many times before, but these two beautiful words are honestly what keep me sane some days. What is a Mom Tribe? These are women who have children (in my case, about the same age), that I get together with on a regular basis. They are an incredible group of women who have my back. I have some amazing friends in life, but there is something about the experience of motherhood shared together that makes the friendships even stronger.

Not many people are in a stage of life where breastmilk, poop, and vomit can be used in a conversation and the other person or people completely understand, or better yet share their own story. I have cried while going for walks (with the babies in carriers), and had amazing women just listen, and offer support. My hope for every mom, no matter how busy, is to find a tribe. I am a better mom, because of my tribe!

WHAT MAKES A GREAT MOM TRIBE?

I know it is not always possible, depending on where you live, but it is so important to find a group of women you can meet face-to-face with. It gives your children a chance to have play dates, and it gives you a chance to talk.

Another thing to keep in mind is to find women who are understanding, and as nonjudgmental as possible. For example, the group of women I regularly hang out with, are women I found at a moms group through the hospital where our boys were born. We kept the same standards as that mom’s group: to be kind, to listen well, offer help, and to not judge.

We all have different parenting styles, but sometimes it is nice to hear others’ perspectives. The phrase we used a lot is, “you have to do what is best for YOUR family.” Ideas could be given, simply as ideas, not “you should do this”. This opens up a lot more conversation as it creates a free space for people to share. For example, I could share that my baby was driving me crazy because he would not sleep (thanks acid reflux), and not be judged for feeling that way.

WHERE CAN I FIND A TRIBE?

There are several places you can go to connect with other moms. The list below is just a few I went to and found friends. I am more of an introvert, so some of these places were harder for me to find friends than others. If you find a mom you connect with, reach out! Then follow through.

• New Moms Group -These are so great as a first time mom too because you can ask so many questions.
• Hike it Baby -My husband and I love hiking, so this was a great one for me. I loved getting a carrier and hiking with my baby in the carrier. If you don’t have a carrier check out Babywearing International for some great information and help. The only warning I offer up is that more serious “let’s go hikers”(like my husband) might not benefit as greatly from toddler-led hikes, which are more like “Let’s go–hey look a squirrel!  OK, now–look at that rock!”.  Speed is definitely not the focus for these.
• Gym class – If you have a local rec department try them or even try a class like Gymboree.
• Music Class – There are several different baby and parent music classes. We have attended Music Together and really enjoyed it.
• Swim Lessons – Again a local recreation department might have a baby swim class.
• Church group – Our church group has a Moms group that meets once a week.
• Mom and Baby workout classes – One that I have enjoyed because they really built community outside of class was Stroller Strides (where I worked out and the baby stayed in the stroller, and then at the end of class the little ones were able to get out and play).

HOW DO WE KEEP OUR TRIBE GOING?

Once you have a tribe, make it happen. Schedule time together. A lot of time we spend together is usually with the kids. The kids get time to play at the park, go for a walk, meet at an indoor area (it rains a lot where we live), or even take a class together. I have found that my kids are best friends with the kids in the Mom Tribe too! The kids are always excited to go see their friends! We like to hang out all together! Texting each other and/or emailing and checking in is just something we do. Checking on each others’ kids who have been sick or teething, and offering support is also part of how we look out for each other.

However, moms also need grown up time without the kids, which is why we try to make sure we have kid-free fun time! I find this so valuable. It is hard, but we make it happen. One group of women and I have made it a point to try to meet once a month to have dinner together. I love eating a meal and not being interrupted and not having to worry about cleaning up a mess.

What are some other ideas of things you can do with your tribe?

• Watch a movie together
• A night/ weekend away
• A freezer meal party (So helpful for everyone!)
• A craft night at someone’s house
• Consignment sale tagging party (getting things ready for a consignment sale)
• Conferences or Parent classes together
• Workout classes together
• Do a race together, like a 5K

MY MOM TRIBE HELPS ME TO BE THE BEST MOM POSSIBLE

Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” If that is the case, then I would consider some of these women part of my group of 5.  They are incredible! I feel very fortunate. These women offer such great ideas and advice. They help me to be a better person. Mostly, I am so thankful for their laughter and understanding.  When I spend time with them, then I am more rested, more joyful, and overall just a lot better mom. So here’s to you, may you find a tribe, your best friends, people who know you, who know your kids, and care a whole lot. Travel this journey of motherhood with a friend; it is a whole lot more fun, easier, and joyful. Thank you to my mom friends, my tribe–you rock my world!