Are you a saver or a spender? Money is a personal topic.  Not everyone is willing to talk about money.  Today, I want to share my story though, in an attempt to show you what I have learned in my money journey.

I’M A SPENDER??

The Dave Ramsey question had been, “Are you a saver, or are you a spender?” I was trying to put myself into one category.  Shouldn’t I want to be the saver?  I looked back at how I had used money in the past. When I was little, I would get money from grandparents for Christmas or my birthday.  What did I do with it?  I spent it.  Wasn’t that the purpose of the money, to buy something for yourself?  Fast forward to my first paychecks as a young teacher.  Where did all the money go? I spent it on children’s books and teaching things for my kids, as well as basic needs. I occasionally would buy bigger things, like camping gear. Not all of my spending was bad, but it wasn’t the best either.  I really liked having money, and I enjoyed spending it.  At the end of the month though, my account was pretty much empty. So to answer the question, I am a spender.

WHY A SPENDER IS NOT ALWAYS GLAMOROUS

The relationship one has to money is an interesting thing. Growing up, both of my parents were educators. They made sure our needs were met, but we didn’t spend money on what I would call fancy things. It was good.  Fast forward to when I graduated college and was living on my own for the first time.  Then I received my first teacher’s paycheck.  I tried to keep my spending less than what I made, but it seemed to never be enough. I remember several nights looking at all the money I was spending each month and feeling sad and guilty for overspending. Worse yet, the overspending went onto my credit card.  It was not fun or wise.  I felt horrible.  Why couldn’t I provide well for myself?

Fast forward to meeting my future husband, and dating.  Eventually, the topic of money came up.  I really liked this guy (ok, loved this guy), and I had to be totally upfront with him when it came to money and how much debt I had (a undergraduate degree, credit card debt, and I was working on my graduate degree). In spite of his being a saver (you can read his perspective here) and knowing my debt load, he must have thought I was worth keeping. He was willing to work with me to help set up a budget and eventually work together to conquer our shared debt.

HOW MARRIAGE, A BUDGET, AND SOME SELF-DISCIPLINE CHANGED MY LIFE

Before my husband and I got married, we had some serious discussions about money. We had both looked at and read the book The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey, and agreed we would follow his steps together to help us get out of debt. Then once my husband and I got married, we sat down and had our first budget meeting. We made some big goals to help slash down our accumulated debt. We made categories like food, gas for the vehicles, and even a category for classroom expenses.  Another part of the budget we created was a  “fun budget” each month for each of us.  It was great because we both had input.  Each week we had a budget meeting and looked over expenses together.

I would love to say that after I knew exactly how much money I had to spend each month, things went well.  The truth of the matter is, it was very hard for me.  I was frustrated. I came up with creative ways to use what I had instead of buying something new. Yet, it still was difficult. It was about this time that I started repeating a phrase over and over in my head: “I hate Dave Ramsey.”  I want to buy that new outfit or new item for the house, but there was not enough money in my fun budget. So I would say, “I hate Dave Ramsey,” and not buy the whatever it may be. It was my way of venting my frustration (Now I am thankful for Dave Ramsey).

SHIFT IN PERSPECTIVE

Slowly, after several months, maybe a year, I began to shift my perspective.  Knowing exactly how much money I had to spend was helpful.  I wasn’t feeling guilty or hopeless.  Our weekly budget meetings went smoother. Was I perfect and never went over budget? Not always.  However, we kept working at it little by little.  I will tell you that a budget was more helpful than just paying off debt, it allowed my husband and I both to have a say in our money, and a clear path of communication on how it was going to be spent. This budget concept saved me from my spending habit.

HOW A SPENDER BRINGS BALANCE TO OUR FINANCIAL PATH

At this point you may be thinking that I do not like spenders. However, to all you kindred spirits out there who also like to spend, I would like to argue we bring some balance to this world.  If my husband was the only one who ran the budget, our house may look very different, and all our money would be in the bank or invested. If the world was just savers, then the economy might really go down.  However, if I ran the budget, we would have lots of cool stuff, but we would probably be very unhappy because we would have lots of debt and always be worried about money. We had to have balance.  With the husband, we have saved some, and thought about investments for the future.  However, with me, we actually go on vacation or spend money on some fun things.  A saver and a spender have to communicate well, but having a little of both is a good thing.

THOUGHTS FOR MY FELLOW SPENDERS

To all my fellow spenders out there, you can bring balance to the world around us.  We need spenders, or else stores would have to close because no one was coming to buy their things.  However, I want to caution you, please spend wisely.  I hated doing a budget, and some days it still is not one of my favorite things to do.  However, the peace it has brought to our marriage and life are amazing.  Maybe a budget is not such a bad idea after all.  Sure people will think you are crazy, especially in this “give me instant gratification” world.  However, I love Dave Ramsey’s quote, “Live like no else, so later you can live like no one else”.

So there it is, you can keep spending (which means for some, accumulating debt), or you can make a budget (ugh!) and stick to it (double ugh!) and see what freedom comes of it.  I know it is hard! However this spender did it, and I know you can too!